Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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