so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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