sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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