Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
