I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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