hell yes lets make some ravioli
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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