I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
