Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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