one word: firstdatebathroomanal
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think people are normalizing furries
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
