I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
