if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
