We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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