is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
