I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
