He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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