do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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