my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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