lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
barbara walters just said penis...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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