Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
