I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
