She's JV to your varsity
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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