i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
