My hand turned me down
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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