maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
