NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
