I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
