quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
