The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
