My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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