we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
