Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
