I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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