ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
