i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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