so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
