I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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