I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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