You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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