Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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