There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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