I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
