is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
