Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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