It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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