My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
