doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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