The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
