So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
