I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
