You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
