yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
